Portal Rasmi Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - CIDOS

Portal Rasmi <b><b>Politeknik</b> Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - <b>CIDOS</b>


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Posted: 22 Feb 2014 01:20 AM PST

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Posted: 21 Jan 2014 01:48 AM PST

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Posted: 06 Jan 2014 01:22 AM PST

Age Math Magic | vipfun.NET - Jokes, Funny Photos, Funny Videos - Math2ever | place to learn basic mathematics

Posted: 05 Jan 2014 03:06 AM PST


Age Math Magic | vipfun.NET - Jokes, Funny Photos, Funny Videos

Posted: 05 Jan 2014 01:44 AM PST


Age <b>Math</b> Magic | vipfun.NET - Jokes, Funny Photos, <b>Funny Videos</b>

Posted: 28 Dec 2013 01:11 AM PST

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Funny Science humor photo: Now that's a great name for a neuroscientist… Clinical Neurology. Second Edition. Name: Lord Brain.

Prank reflective backyards, people are like birds: Just sit and watch people run into your fence

A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage?" It replies, "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

The earth, the galaxy as viewed from a plane window. pic.

Lol hippos use puns: You're fat. That's very… Hippo-critical.

Breaking Bad endorses education: Get a chemistry degree and make a killing. University advertising.

Archeologists will find these one day. Cassette tape, cell phone, video game controller, and floppy disk fossils.

Photoshop: It makes a fucking difference. Kids playing in brown mud. Kids playing in a red substance… blood? 

Math cartoon and movie title parody: Snakes on an incline plane. Snakes on a Cartesian plane. Snakes on a 3 dimensional plane. Snakes on a plane.

Grammar police post passive aggressive signs: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

Want to share an image but not the article? just click on the image and it will take you to a page to do so.

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How Good Are You At Math ? - Funny Jokes ... - Math2ever

Posted: 04 Jan 2014 07:55 PM PST


How Good Are You At <b>Math</b> ? - <b>Funny Jokes</b> <b>...</b> - Math2ever

Posted: 31 Dec 2013 07:22 PM PST

Funny Math Jokes

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.

"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero…"

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.

Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.

When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…"

A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park when they hear a voice: "Please, help me!"

They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.

"Please, help me!" the frog repeats. "I'm not really a frog: I'm an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…"

The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.

"You don't have to marry me", the frog continues frantically, "if you're afraid of the commitment. I'll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…"

The frog's voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.

"But why don't you kiss her?!" the math student asks.

"You know", the CS student replies, "I simply don't have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…"

A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?"

"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."

"How can you know that with such precision?!"

"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old – and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago…"

"Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."

"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."

"But twelve isn't odd!"

"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee…"

A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.

To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.

"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"

"What topic to you mean?"

"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."

At the end of his course on mathematical methods in optimization, the professor sternly looks at his students and says: "There is one final piece of advice I'm going to give you now: Whatever you have learned in my course – never ever try to apply it to your personal lives!"

"Why?" the students ask.

"Well, some years ago, I observed my wife preparing breakfast, and I noticed that she wasted a lot of time walking back and forth in the kitchen. So, I went to work, optimized the whole procedure, and told my wife about it."

"And what happened?!"

"Before I applied my expert knowledge, my wife needed about half an hour to prepare breakfast for the two of us. And now, it takes me less than fifteen minutes…"

Q: What is the most erotic number?

A: 2110593!

Q: Why?

A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3…

Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.

The boy says: "It's a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!"

The girl replies: "No – it's a cosin, silly!!!"

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A: A high school math problem!

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin…

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"

"Of course not, dear – I love you much more!"

Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"

Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok… Let epsilon be greater than zero…"

It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"

The professor gently smiles and says: "Of course not – if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"

A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?"

He replied: "This question makes me sick! If you show someone the Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?' What would you do? Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"

.

<b>Math Jokes</b>! - Gags Moron

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 05:00 AM PST

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Posted: 04 Jan 2014 03:12 PM PST

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Posted: 04 Jan 2014 03:12 PM PST

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Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik</b> Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - <b>CIDOS</b> <b>...</b>

Posted: 05 Jan 2014 07:45 PM PST

PENGEMASKINIAN STATUS PEKERJAAN GRADUAN YANG MENGHADIRI KONVOKESYEN BAGI TAHUN 2006 HINGGA 2013

Posted: 25 Sep 2013 07:16 PM PDT

Adalah dipohon kepada para graduan yang telah berkonvokesyen mulai tahun 2006 hingga 2013  bagi mengemaskini status anda di capaian ini : Sistem SKPG I - Kemas Kini Status Pekerjaan.

WASPADA : BANTUAN DANA PENDIDIKAN 2013

Posted: 03 Sep 2013 08:33 PM PDT

Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia ingin memaklumkan terdapat satu laman web dan laman Facebook yang mendakwa menyediakan Bantuan Dana Pendidikan yang diberi nama BANTUAN DANA PENDIDIKAN 2013.

<b>cidos</b>.edu.my Report - HostGeni

Posted: 28 Dec 2013 02:07 PM PST

Lecturer User Manual CIDOS e-Learning preview online
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FORMAT PENULISAN preview online
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<b>cidos</b>.edu.my - WebSiteLibrary Malaysia

Posted: 14 Apr 2011 02:22 AM PDT

        cidos.edu.my domain lookup results from whois.domainregistry.my server:    Welcome to .my DOMAIN REGISTRY Whois Server.  --------------------------------------------------  For alternative search,  whois -h whois.domainregistry.my xxxxx#option  Type the command as below for display help:  whois -h whois.domainregistry.my help#h  Note: Code is previously known as MYNIC Handle.  Please note that the query limit is 500 per day from the same IP.  --------------------------------------------------  SEARCH BY DOMAIN NAME  a [Domain Name]                 cidos.edu.my  b [Registration No.]            D5A002578  c [Record Created]              11-AUG-2010  d [Record Expired]              11-AUG-2014  e [Record Last Modified]        25-JUL-2013  f [Invoicing Party]                            MYNIC  Billing Department  .my DOMAIN REGISTRY  Level 3, Block C, Mines Waterfront Business Park  No.3, Jalan Tasik, Mines Resort City  43300 Seri Kembangan  Selangor  Malaysia  billing@domainregistry.my  (Tel) 603-89917272  (Fax) 603-89917277  g [Registrant Code]                            RKEY0000012856  Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik  (Government)  Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang,  43300 Seri Kembangan  Selangor  (Tel) 03-89394000  (Fax) 03-89394449  h [Administrative Contact Code]                CKEY0000020187  Encik Harun bin Sahat  Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik  Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang,  43300 Seri Kembangan  Selangor  Malaysia  harun@mohe.gov.my  (Tel) 03-89394477  (Fax) 03-89394449  i [Billing Contact Code]                       CKEY0000020187  Encik Harun bin Sahat  Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik  Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang,  43300 Seri Kembangan  Selangor  Malaysia  harun@mohe.gov.my  (Tel) 03-89394477  (Fax) 03-89394449  j [Technical Contact Code]                     EXA-REGI0.CON  Exabytes Network Registrar  Exabytes Network Sdn Bhd  1-18-8, Suntech Penang Cybercity  Lintang Mayang Pasir 3,  11950 Bayan Baru  Pulau Pinang  Malaysia  domain@exabytes.com.my  (Tel) 604-6308283  (Fax) 604-6308288  k [Primary Name Server]              SKEY0000012529  ns1191.dns.dyn.com                 208.76.58.191  l [Secondary Name Server]            SKEY0000012530  ns2145.dns.dyn.com                 208.76.59.145  [Secondary Name Server]            SKEY0000012531  ns3171.dns.dyn.com                 208.76.60.171  [Secondary Name Server]            SKEY0000012532  ns4130.dns.dyn.com                 208.76.61.130  Disclaimer :-  MYNIC, the Registry for .my has collected this information for the WHOIS  database through a MYNIC-Accredited Reseller. This information is provided to  you for informational purposes only and is designed to assist persons in  determining contents of a domain name registration record in the MYNIC registry  database.  MYNIC makes this information available to you "as is" and does not guarantee  its accuracy.  By submitting a WHOIS query, you agree that you will use this data only for  lawful purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data:  (1) to allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass unsolicited,  commercial advertising or solicitations via electronic mail, or otherwise;  (2) for spamming or speculative purposes or commercial purpose;  (3) to enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that apply to the  registry (or its systems) or  (4) for any other abusive purpose  Compilation, repackaging, dissemination, or other use of the WHOIS database in  its entirety, or of a substantial portion thereof, is not allowed without  MYNIC's prior written permission. MYNIC reserves the right to modify or change  these conditions at any time without prior or subsequent notification of any  kind. By executing this query, in any manner whatsoever, you agree to abide by  these terms.  NOTE: FAILURE TO LOCATE A RECORD IN THE WHOIS DATABASE IS NOT INDICATIVE OF THE  AVAILABILITY OF A DOMAIN NAME.  All domain names are subject to MYNIC's Registration Rules and Agreement for the  Registration of Domain Name.  For details, please visit our website at www.domainregistry.my.          

Portal Rasmi Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - CIDOS

Posted: 09 Jan 2014 09:34 PM PST


KEMPEN HINDARI VANDALISME DAN TINGKAH LAKU JENAYAH

Posted: 09 Jan 2014 06:13 PM PST

AMARAN !

Tindakan surcaj dan tataterib akan dikenakan terhadap pesalah yang terbabit.

background of <b>politeknik tuanku sultanah bahiyah</b>, kulim

Posted: 01 Dec 2013 09:38 PM PST

Polytechnic of Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah (PTSB) was formerly known as Polytechnic of Kulim, is the 16th polytechnic under the Ministry of Higher Education, Malaysia. Polytechnic of Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah (PTSB) is the second polytechnic established in Kedah after Polytechnic of Sultan Abdul Halim Mu'adzam Shah at Jitra.

PTSB started its operation on the 1st March 2002 at the temporary campus at Polytechnic of Seberang Perai, Penang and moved to the main campus on a 100 acre land at Kulim Hi-Tech Park on 3rd March 2003. June 9th, 2003 was the first intake of the students of PTSB and the number was 507. To date, the number of students have reached more than 4, 500. After 5 years of its operation, PTSB was officiated by the Sultan of Kedah, His Royal Highness Al Sultan AlMu'tasimu Billahi Muhibbuddin Tuanku AlHaj Abdul Halim Mu'adzam Shah Ibni Almarhum Sultan Badlishah.

PTSB is led by a Director, assisted by two (2) Deputy Directors and six (6) Head of Departments. With the spirit and commitment by the front line officers and the staffs, PTSB is determined to be one of the best polytechnics in Malaysia.

At PTSB, students can choose to further their study either in diploma or certificate level offered by four (4) academic departments namely Civil Engineering Department (CED), Electrical Engineering Department (EED), Mechanical Engineering Department (MED), and Commerce Department (CD). PTSB also offers the Lifelong learning Programme through the Part Time Courses handled every weekend.

COMMERCE DEPARTMENT

 Introduction

Commerce Department (CD) Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah (PTSB) has started its operation on 2nd March 2003,  led by a Head of Department. Three Head of Programs are responsible to each  course in executing the Polytechnic curriculum at CD. There were 15 lecturers  who have taught 171 first intake students in 2003. It takes 200 new students  each semester and they are given an academic advisor to help and guide them  throughout their study session.

 Objectives
 

  • To increase the quality of teaching and learning in the particular fields 
  • To create half-professional students in
      accounting, marketing and business whether in diploma or certificate level in
      order to fulfill the needs of human resource in public and private sectors  

Programs that are offered by CD

  • Diploma in Accountancy (DAT) 
  • Diploma in Marketing (DPR) 
  • Diploma in Business Studies (DPP)

COMMERCE CLUB | <b>POLITEKNIK TUANKU SULTANAH BAHIYAH</b> <b>...</b>

Posted: 14 Feb 2014 05:00 AM PST

Walaupun penat tetapi ianya sangat memuaskan diri apabila dapat menceriakan Jabatan Perdagangan. Pada 19hb Februari ini, pelajar DAT3A akan menyambung tugas mereka dengan menanam pokok herba di kawasan yang telah disediakan sebentar tadi.

iCOMPEX&#39;14 NATIONAL LEVEL - Blog <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah</b> <b>...</b>

Posted: 07 Jan 2014 01:09 AM PST

iCOMPEX&#39;14 NATIONAL LEVEL - Blog <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah</b> <b>...</b>

Posted: 24 Dec 2013 09:26 AM PST

iCOMPEX'14 NATIONAL LEVEL

Posted: 23 Dec 2013 07:37 PM PST

National Innovation And Invention Competition Through Exhibition 2014 will be carried out as listed below:

Date : 24 & 25 March 2014

SPECIAL ASSESSMENT FOR JUNE 2013 SESSION - Polytechnic <b>...</b>

Posted: 05 Dec 2013 09:12 AM PST

SPECIAL ASSESSMENT FOR JUNE 2013 SESSION

Posted: 04 Dec 2013 04:26 PM PST

Final semester students for June 2013 session who were offered for the Special Assessment (Penilaian Khas), you are required to accomplish the following before the registration date which is on 9 December 2013 at your respective department:

<b><b><b> - Blog <b> - Blog <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b>

Posted: 10 Jan 2014 01:03 AM PST

Polytechnic of Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah (PTSB) was formerly known as Polytechnic of Kulim, is the 16th polytechnic under the Ministry of Higher Education, Malaysia. Polytechnic of Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah (PTSB) is the second polytechnic established in Kedah after Polytechnic of Sultan Abdul Halim Mu'adzam Shah at Jitra.

PTSB started its operation on the 1st March 2002 at the temporary campus at Polytechnic of Seberang Perai, Penang and moved to the main campus on a 100 acre land at Kulim Hi-Tech Park on 3rd March 2003. June 9th, 2003 was the first intake of the students of PTSB and the number was 507. To date, the number of students have reached more than 4, 500. After 5 years of its operation, PTSB was officiated by the Sultan of Kedah, His Royal Highness Al Sultan AlMu'tasimu Billahi Muhibbuddin Tuanku AlHaj Abdul Halim Mu'adzam Shah Ibni Almarhum Sultan Badlishah.

PTSB is led by a Director, assisted by two (2) Deputy Directors and six (6) Head of Departments. With the spirit and commitment by the front line officers and the staffs, PTSB is determined to be one of the best polytechnics in Malaysia.

At PTSB, students can choose to further their study either in diploma or certificate level offered by four (4) academic departments namely Civil Engineering Department (CED), Electrical Engineering Department (EED), Mechanical Engineering Department (MED), and Commerce Department (CD). PTSB also offers the Lifelong learning Programme through the Part Time Courses handled every weekend.

COMMERCE DEPARTMENT

 Introduction

Commerce Department (CD) Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah (PTSB) has started its operation on 2nd March 2003,  led by a Head of Department. Three Head of Programs are responsible to each  course in executing the Polytechnic curriculum at CD. There were 15 lecturers  who have taught 171 first intake students in 2003. It takes 200 new students  each semester and they are given an academic advisor to help and guide them  throughout their study session.

 Objectives
 

  • To increase the quality of teaching and learning in the particular fields 
  • To create half-professional students in
      accounting, marketing and business whether in diploma or certificate level in
      order to fulfill the needs of human resource in public and private sectors  

Programs that are offered by CD

  • Diploma in Accountancy (DAT) 
  • Diploma in Marketing (DPR) 
  • Diploma in Business Studies (DPP)

Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik</b> Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - <b>CIDOS</b> <b>...</b>

Posted: 23 Oct 2014 09:08 PM PDT

Portal Rasmi Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - CIDOS - Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah

Posted: 23 Oct 2014 02:08 AM PDT

Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - CIDOS

Posted: 18 Oct 2014 01:21 AM PDT

Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - CIDOS <b>...</b>

Posted: 11 Oct 2014 09:02 PM PDT

Portal Rasmi Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - CIDOS ... - Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah

Posted: 11 Oct 2014 01:10 AM PDT

Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - CIDOS ... - Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - Blog Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah


Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - CIDOS <b>...</b>

Posted: 03 Oct 2014 09:16 PM PDT

Portal Rasmi Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - CIDOS ... - Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah

Posted: 03 Oct 2014 01:42 AM PDT

PERMOHONAN ASRAMA SESI DIS 2014

Posted: 09 Sep 2014 06:32 PM PDT

Borang permohonan untuk menduduki asrama untuk sesi Dis 2014 telah dibuka dan boleh diperolehi melalui portal SPMP. 

Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - CIDOS

Posted: 03 Oct 2014 01:42 AM PDT

PERMOHONAN ASRAMA SESI DIS 2014

Posted: 09 Sep 2014 06:32 PM PDT

Borang permohonan untuk menduduki asrama untuk sesi Dis 2014 telah dibuka dan boleh diperolehi melalui portal SPMP. 

Portal Rasmi <b>Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - CIDOS

Posted: 17 Oct 2014 01:23 AM PDT

Statistik Pencapaian Piagam Pelanggan Sesi Jun 2014

Posted: 07 Oct 2014 11:41 PM PDT

Pencapaian Piagam Pelanggan PTSB 2014

( Sesi Jun 2014 )

Janji  Menepati Tempoh Masa / Standard Piagam Pelanggan Melebihi Tempoh Masa / Standard Piagam Pelanggan  
Jumlah  %  Jumlah  %
Proses Pendaftaran Pelajar diselesaikan dalam tempoh satu (1) jam bagi calon yang mengemukakan dokumen pendaftaran yang lengkap.            1548      100           -  -
Proses Pemberian Perkhidmatan Pendidikan ( PPP ) dilaksanakan secara sistematik, terancang dan berkesan berdasarkan sukatan kursus terkini yang dibekalkan Bahagian Pembangunan Kurikulum             67      100           -  -
Status tindakan terhadap maklum balas pelanggan akan dimaklumkan dalam tempoh dua   ( 2 ) minggu selepas maklum balas diterima            36      100           -  -
Keputusan akhir peperiksaan diproses dalam tempoh dua ( 2 ) minggu selepas semester pengajian berakhir             -       -           -  -

* Nota : Pencapaian Piagam Pelanggan Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah dinilai dua (2) kali setahun.

Portal Rasmi <b><b>Politeknik</b> Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah</b> - <b>CIDOS</b> <b>...</b>

Posted: 13 Jan 2014 01:35 AM PST

Age Math Magic | vipfun.NET - Jokes, Funny Photos, Funny Videos - Math2ever | place to learn basic mathematics

Posted: 05 Jan 2014 03:06 AM PST


Age Math Magic | vipfun.NET - Jokes, Funny Photos, Funny Videos

Posted: 05 Jan 2014 01:44 AM PST


Age <b>Math</b> Magic | vipfun.NET - Jokes, Funny Photos, <b>Funny Videos</b>

Posted: 28 Dec 2013 01:11 AM PST

funny-lol-educational-great-name-neuroscientist-lord-brain-humor-joke-photo-pic-science funny-sit-watch-people-run-into-green-fence-lol-humor-joke-photo-pic-science funny-lol-traveling-light-photon-checks-into-hotel-humor-joke-photo-pic-science spaceairplane-photo-pic-cool-awesome funny-lol-hippos-critical-fat-puns-punny-humor-photo-pic funny-lol-science-breaking-bad-university-advertsing-photo-pic-humor-joke funny-science-lol-archeologists-electronics-fossils-time-capsule-gaming-video-games-computer-humor-joke-photo-pic funny-lol-photoshop-mud-blood-children-humor-joke-meme-photo-pic funny-lol-cartoon-snakes-plane-humor-joke-science-math-photo-pic errorists-terrorists-funny-lol-humor-joke-office-sign-photo-pic-grammar-typos-work

Funny Science humor photo: Now that's a great name for a neuroscientist… Clinical Neurology. Second Edition. Name: Lord Brain.

Prank reflective backyards, people are like birds: Just sit and watch people run into your fence

A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage?" It replies, "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

The earth, the galaxy as viewed from a plane window. pic.

Lol hippos use puns: You're fat. That's very… Hippo-critical.

Breaking Bad endorses education: Get a chemistry degree and make a killing. University advertising.

Archeologists will find these one day. Cassette tape, cell phone, video game controller, and floppy disk fossils.

Photoshop: It makes a fucking difference. Kids playing in brown mud. Kids playing in a red substance… blood? 

Math cartoon and movie title parody: Snakes on an incline plane. Snakes on a Cartesian plane. Snakes on a 3 dimensional plane. Snakes on a plane.

Grammar police post passive aggressive signs: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

Want to share an image but not the article? just click on the image and it will take you to a page to do so.

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How Good Are You At Math ? - Funny Jokes ... - Math2ever

Posted: 04 Jan 2014 07:55 PM PST


How Good Are You At <b>Math</b> ? - <b>Funny Jokes</b> <b>...</b> - Math2ever

Posted: 31 Dec 2013 07:22 PM PST

Funny Math Jokes

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.

"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero…"

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.

Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.

When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…"

A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park when they hear a voice: "Please, help me!"

They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.

"Please, help me!" the frog repeats. "I'm not really a frog: I'm an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…"

The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.

"You don't have to marry me", the frog continues frantically, "if you're afraid of the commitment. I'll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…"

The frog's voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.

"But why don't you kiss her?!" the math student asks.

"You know", the CS student replies, "I simply don't have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…"

A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?"

"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."

"How can you know that with such precision?!"

"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old – and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago…"

"Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."

"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."

"But twelve isn't odd!"

"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee…"

A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.

To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.

"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"

"What topic to you mean?"

"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."

At the end of his course on mathematical methods in optimization, the professor sternly looks at his students and says: "There is one final piece of advice I'm going to give you now: Whatever you have learned in my course – never ever try to apply it to your personal lives!"

"Why?" the students ask.

"Well, some years ago, I observed my wife preparing breakfast, and I noticed that she wasted a lot of time walking back and forth in the kitchen. So, I went to work, optimized the whole procedure, and told my wife about it."

"And what happened?!"

"Before I applied my expert knowledge, my wife needed about half an hour to prepare breakfast for the two of us. And now, it takes me less than fifteen minutes…"

Q: What is the most erotic number?

A: 2110593!

Q: Why?

A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3…

Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.

The boy says: "It's a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!"

The girl replies: "No – it's a cosin, silly!!!"

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A: A high school math problem!

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin…

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"

"Of course not, dear – I love you much more!"

Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"

Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok… Let epsilon be greater than zero…"

It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"

The professor gently smiles and says: "Of course not – if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"

A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?"

He replied: "This question makes me sick! If you show someone the Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?' What would you do? Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"

.

<b>Math Jokes</b>! - Gags Moron

Posted: 29 Dec 2013 05:00 AM PST

Quentin Tarantino photos, pictures, images, gallery, pics, 2014 , page ...

Posted: 04 Jan 2014 03:12 PM PST


Quentin Tarantino photos, pictures, images, gallery, pics, 2014 , page ...

Posted: 04 Jan 2014 03:12 PM PST

Quentin Tarantino photos, pictures, images, gallery, pics, 2014 , page ... 0c9038ed1ce19648005618a40c3d42ab

Quentin Tarantino photos, pictures, images, gallery, pics, 2013

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Borang permohonan untuk menduduki asrama untuk sesi Dis 2014 telah dibuka dan boleh diperolehi melalui portal SPMP. 

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Posted: 03 Oct 2014 01:42 AM PDT

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Posted: 17 Oct 2014 01:23 AM PDT

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Posted: 07 Oct 2014 11:41 PM PDT

Pencapaian Piagam Pelanggan PTSB 2014

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Janji  Menepati Tempoh Masa / Standard Piagam Pelanggan Melebihi Tempoh Masa / Standard Piagam Pelanggan  
Jumlah  %  Jumlah  %
Proses Pendaftaran Pelajar diselesaikan dalam tempoh satu (1) jam bagi calon yang mengemukakan dokumen pendaftaran yang lengkap.            1548      100           -  -
Proses Pemberian Perkhidmatan Pendidikan ( PPP ) dilaksanakan secara sistematik, terancang dan berkesan berdasarkan sukatan kursus terkini yang dibekalkan Bahagian Pembangunan Kurikulum             67      100           -  -
Status tindakan terhadap maklum balas pelanggan akan dimaklumkan dalam tempoh dua   ( 2 ) minggu selepas maklum balas diterima            36      100           -  -
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* Nota : Pencapaian Piagam Pelanggan Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah dinilai dua (2) kali setahun.

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Borang permohonan untuk menduduki asrama untuk sesi Dis 2014 telah dibuka dan boleh diperolehi melalui portal SPMP. 

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